I'm really starting to believe that obtaining a "license to kill" like in the Bourne movies or something would be easier than getting a driver's license in the state of Maryland.
Allow me to share the experience that Kevin and I had at the DMV the other day.
FIRST...in Maryland they call it the MVA rather than the DMV which already put me in a sour mood.
SECOND...they had the audacity to tell me that once Kevin got his driver's license, he could sign for me to get mine. SIGN for me???? Is this not the 21st century? I happen to have my very own Pennsylvania license which I would think would be good enough for these people.
THIRD...they told us our marriage license is invalid. INVALID. Kevin literally had to grab my waist and pull me back as I pointed to my passport and yelled "that marriage license was good enough for the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT when they issued me a passport with my new name as well as Social Security card! How can the state of Maryland suddenly have a problem with it?"
The bottom line is that Kevin waltzed through the line and came out the other side with a shiny new Maryland driver's license. What did I do while this transaction took place? I argued with the supervisor (who was actually pretty fantastic and kept her cool with me). Are you ready for the REAL reason that I can't get a driver's license?
The letter K.
That is it.
My Pennsylvania license says Amy K. Maiden Name. Well Maryland happens to be what's known as a "full name state." They need me to "prove the K." So I need to show them my birth certificate which will prove that my middle name is Katherine. Please keep in mind I have a new passport, a new Social Security card, a voter's registration card, proof of address with my new name and what I thought to be a valid marriage license. Now my mother needs to mail my BIRTH CERTIFICATE out here so I can "prove the K." My middle name isn't even Katherine anymore. My middle initial is now M. So the K is completely irrelevant. Unbelievable. Don't get me started on the fact that evidently my name is still not LEGALLY changed. Even though all my federal documentation as well as health insurance and payroll indicates that I'm now a genuine Vile.
Honestly, I'm out of my mind. So who knows. I might never be legal in this state. They should change the name to Redtapeland rather than Maryland. 
(Oh, and seriously, every document pictured in this post is REQUIRED for me to get a new license. Of course they're all fakes, so don't think I'm giving away anyone's identity secrets or anything).
9 comments:
Oh my gosh! The image of Kevin holding you back is too funny! How unbelieveably frustrating! What a bummer of a day...hope tomorrow is better! Stay away from all Maryland government offices!
crazy!
apparently when I did all my name change stuff I neever did my social security number, just this year after accepting my taxes for 3 years they say I don't exist and my employer changed me back to my maiden name, so I need to head downtown and get that fixed!
hope it gets better :)
i love that you are a "genuine vile".
so sorry that about the hassle. it's just ridiculous! redtapeland doesn't sound like a very nice place for us to visit.... i hope it redeems itself for you (and us!)
If that is not a Seinfield episode, there never was one!! Maybe you should move back to PA?? Just a thought. :)
Vin
I personally love that you included every single document image!! Sorry you've had this trouble! But at least now you will "Prove the K" and put all their fears to rest that you might be the notorious Amy B. Vile!
sounds like my "there it is" story about the bike in MEP. Honestly, the day. These people are clearly the reason for migraine headaches in New England, road rage, and the decline of the US dollar. Please do not be discouraged. I was there. I know you are a Vile.
That is bizarre! I can't believe all that hassle. As if the stress of having a new license photo taken is not enough, you have to jump through so many hoops to prove that you are in fact who you say you are. Good luck!
Amy, This is one of the funniest things ever! Just think how entertaining your pain has been for everyone. My Saturday night plans (those are rare for me - maybe once a month) were just cancelled and I am sitting here THANKFUL to be reading about this instead. I do hope that you can get a license but seriously - YOU ARE FUNNY!
Dog, Lord is that funny.
Amy "K"
I love that Kevin can sign for you. Where do you live anyways? Geesh.
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